Chicago LFC Co-Ed (matchday 6)

An embarrassing season for Liverpool got a little more embarrassing Saturday morning when Rafa and his men lost 2-0 away to Portsmouth. In case you haven’t looked at the table lately, Pompey came into the game butt naked last in the Premier League. So in the afternoon, it was up to the men and women of Chicago LFC’s co-ed squad to restore some glory to the mighty Reds.

Today’s opponents were Joueurs de Football. Apparently “joueurs” is French for “not enough female players,” so with only one woman on the opposing roster, CLFC played the entire game with a 6 on 5 advantage. That advantage worked out quite nicely, as the Reds treated their foes to an afternoon in the Thunderdome with Mad Max. Max De Zuter’s natural hat trick gave CLFC a 3-0 halftime advantage, as the opportunistic veteran pounced on some loose rebounds like a bum going after a free ham sandwich. Joueurs first half highlights included a trio of chippy tackles against Arif Ismail and not much else.

De Zuter continued his goal scoring spree with a classy finish to open up the second half, but the strike of the day came from the orange-clad Kevin Achettu. So frustrated with the recent play of the Reds, Achettu channeled his inner Ruud van Nistelroy and broke out the kit of the Dutch National Team for today’s game. Taking a free kick from just beyond midfield, Achettu’s strike rattled the underside of the crossbar and bounced in for a 5-0 CLFC advantage.

Throughout the rest of the game, the defense, lead by Dan Skinner and Liz Risoldi, made life easy for Aran Quinn, who picked up a clean sheet; somewhat ironic given the aromatic contents of his gym bag. With Hollice Wrobel, Brittany Parenti and Heather Ribeiro controlling play up front, Chris Liebalt broke loose like a grizzly bear out of its cage for a pair of late goals. Achettu added a second to complete the 8-0 thrashing.

The game ended prematurely on a somewhat somber note, when Joueurs goaltender took a ball to the schnoz and had to be helped off. Only the early ending prevented Ismail from tacking on #9. After the game the squad celebrated at Union Park tavern, where the Zeno crew pounded Manmosas, a deceptively strong blend of Blue Moon, vodka and OJ. The Reds now head into the holiday break at 4-2, having restored a small measure of pride to Liverpool.

Chicago LFC Coed (matchday 4)

Large portions of today’s blog post would normally be found in the fiction section of your local book store.  Or in the trash can.  Really depends on the book store.

Did you know that the Benjamin Franklin, or some other old balding geezer from that time period, proposed that the Turkey should be the national bird of the United States of America instead of the Bald Eagle?  Imagine that.  In that sad, alternative universe, we’d have all showed up Saturday morning for our 4th league game of the season, still sick from the ridiculous amounts of bald eagle meat we all ate Thursday night.  Luckily, Franklin’s plot to expedite the extinction of the bald eagle never panned out and it was turkey that had us feeling lethargic Saturday morning.

Some, of course, were feeling more lethargic than others.  And by ’some,’ I mean the whole of the other team.  Like no one.  Not even some poor bastard who didn’t get the email from the team captain saying they were not going to show.  At least they seem to communicate well.  So the team got there with no one to play against, which suited us very well.  Matt gave them 45 seconds after the scheduled 1pm kickoff, and when no one showed a forfeit was declared, with CLFC gaining 3 crucial points and a 3-0 win.  It was a good thing that they gave us a 3-0 result, because if last week’s form was anything to go off of, the team would’ve scored 2 at most, even with no opposition.

We split the team in two , added Matt, some Carlos wannabe ref, the Brian McBride looking fella and that goalkeeper woman who looks a bit like a clean shaven Johnny Depp.  Well, not completely clean shaven.  The teams were all mashed up and the score could have been 12-12, who knows.  We swapped teams when subbing in and out, so no one realy kept track of anything.  All I remember was the brilliant hattrick I scored.  And when I got in goal I saved everything, even money on car insurance.  There were plenty of goals to go around and while I actually didn’t score any, I’m sure Pat, Mark, Aran, Chris, Max, Arif, Hollice, Brit, Heather, Johnny Depp, Brian McBride, Matt Rosine, little Mexican ref, Michael Jordan, the midget that used to roll with Kid Rock, Santa Clause, Anne Frank, the Soup Nazi, the real Nazi, Donny Osmond, George Muresan, the Pope, Jimmy Carter, Seal, Cristian Bale, Christian Slater, Christian people, Kim Jung Il, John Smith (of Pocahontas fame) and Thierry Henry’s hand all scored fantastic goals.  And Chris wasn’t even there!  Sorry if I missed anyone, like I mentioned, there were a lot og goals and goalscorers to go around.

(Hu)Man of the Match: Seal, no contest.  Though some would argue he is more than just a man.

Move of the Match: The other team calling in….  3 points!

Chicago LFC Men’s First Indoor game of the Winter (Kinda)

Monday the 2nd of November was the Chicago LFC Men’s team first indoor game of the Winter session. Alas it was not the winning start it was supposed to be but it wasn’t the losing start either, which I suppose is good, nor was it the drawing start… let me explain…

We turned up for our 8:30pm game a couple short but confident that we could start on a high for the season. The pitches down at the Indoor Soccer Center (3900 S Ashland) are fantastic, we play 5-a-side (plus a keeper) in a large glass enclosed area which means less stopping and starting (unless it hits the high net roof) and more lung exploding exercise! Sadly though, our opponents had mis-understood the idea of a “Mens” league as none of them had a driving license to go with their name apart from their Irish coach (and I expect mini-van driver) who had entered them to give them some match practise.

The organisers decided that it would be inappropriate and unsafe for them to play in the league meaning we would have a make up game scheduled instead. Seeing as they’d come all this way and looked so keen we decided it would be good to have a practise and play them anyway.

Great idea in theory but in practise it was bloody hard work! They were way fitter than us (as you can expect any group of young men yet to discover beer!) and quicker on the ball. That being said our finishing really let us down and we went in at half-time 1-0 down but against the run of play. Their Irish coach sat at the back superbly spraying around passes and sweeping up at the back making if difficult for us to turn our possession transfer into goals.

The second half had us start well again and Captain Bryn (me!) could have got the equaliser but for a last ditch outstretched leg of the Arctic Monkey’s look-a-like kid. But as we started to tire they kept on going and doubled their lead from the spot after a harshly given penalty was given for a ball-to-hand (and what looked to be outside the box) foul.

There was just time to Andrew to sting the palms of their slightly hands-on and pushy keeper with a shot from distance but the game ended 2-0. Handshakes all round and off home and straight to bed…

Disappointing start but at least it didn’t count!

Chicago LFC Coed (matchday 1)

Today’s post will probably be quickly replaced by the Men’s League blog post, since they obviously love to up themselves.  Let me just point out that if they skip matchday 1, it’s because they lost to 12 year olds.

The Chicago LFC coed team started things up at Mercy Soccer Center & Damp Warehouse, with a noon kickoff this Saturday.  Yes, Saturday.  It took some adjusting, let me tell you.  Then again, a lot of things took some adjusting.  Like the 10ft high ceiling, which was a bit lower than the notoriously B.I.G. atmosphere/sky thingy we had at Rauner.  Or the weird blocked off corner, where the electrical fuses are.  That’s not scary at all.  But it wasn’t necessarily a downgrade from Rauner or Windy City Fieldhouse, Mercy guarantees a fun, fast paced game.  And it delivered. 

Starting keeper Aran Quinn started the season off in typical starting keeper Aran Quinn fashion, saying he had to go see a man about a dog in South Bend, IN.  Hollice Wrobel, gladly/nervously, filled in as she had on many occasions for our scumbag of a keeper.  Though it, once again, took some adjusting.  Captain Dan showed up, and in light of all the adjustments being made, brought along Skinner Sr. instead of the usual Skinner Jr.  Remi joined Dan’s dad on the sidelines as Chicago LFC took the field against a new team to the league (actually they may have played in the outdoor one, but let’s be honest, everyone looks different inside).

There were a few chances early on, though it took Chicago LFC some time to break the deadlock.  Hollice did a great job in goal as well and Chicago LFC were clearly working well together, adjustments and all.  Soon enough, Mark Killeen put CLFC 1-0 up, although I’m not sure how he scored the goal (since he’d score a few more on the day, it’s hard to keep track) so let’s just say it was a cool finish off the counter attack.  Now that I think about it, I have no idea what order or how the 11 goals scored on Saturday came in.  Just play along.  Max then made it 2-0 with a cool finish off the counter attack.  Then came what is probably the goal of the season.  You may have seen it on ESPN’s Top Ten plays of the day, if not you can surely catch it on ESPN’s Top Ten plays of the Millenium.  Chris Liebelt picked up the ball deep within his own half, stepped it past the opposition forward, eluded two defenders around midfield, stepped it past another, then did about 17 stepovers before slotting it past the keeper.  3-0.  I’d say thats about when halftime rolled around.  Or maybe we’ll give them a goal before half time.  Yep, 3-1.  Captain Dan took the team outside for the halftime talk & smoke, so that the opposition couldn’t hear our plans in the dressing room (which is conveniently equipped with two couches and is thoroughly sprayed with Febreeze ’Damp and Sweaty’ before every gameday). 

Second half was a blur, more good goalkeeping, more goals.  Once again, the order of it all is a bit mashed up, but CLFC always had at least a two goal advantage….. that may or may not be true.  Mark added another goal with a cool finish off the counter attack.  Heather then added one with a brilliant shot from about the halfway line that slipped under the keeper’s gloves.  Chris then doubled his tally with a booming shot from distance, or just a cool finish off the counter attack.  There were 3 goals for the opposition scattered around in there but Mark, who was on great form, settled things with his third and the teams seventh to end things at 7-4.

It wasn’t the best of performances from the defense, Kevin Achettu in particular looking awfully shit and just plain tired at times.  Captain Dan played well at the back, but his out-of-ten rating took a massive hit when he scored a brilliantly finished own goal.  But the forwards and goalkeeper picked up the slack for the team.  CLFC will need to do better when the team meets again next Saturday at we don’t know when our game is yet, thanks for keeping things interesting WCW , to take on new opposition.  Some good teams have transferred over into the indoor league, and CLFC will need to build off of the matchday 1 win if they have any hope of winning anything this season.

(Hu)man of the Match: Mark Killeen (3 goals and anywhere from 2 to 4 assists)

Move of the Match/Millenium: Chris Liebelt (1st goal)

Rafaball Strikes Again

Rafael Benitez’s six seasons at Anfield have been marked by one consistent trend: when his team’s fortunes appear bleakest, the Reds have the ability to summon their finest efforts. On Sunday the concept of “Rafaball” was once more on display.

The last time LFC lost four straight, Margaret Thatcher was enjoying high tea with Ronald Reagan. With captain Steven Gerrard in the stands and star striker Fernando Torres returning from injury, there was reason for apprehension as the three-time defending league champions arrived in Liverpool. But as if to borrow a line from the team’s anthem, Rafa believes that at the end of the storm is a golden sky. And again that golden sky came in the form of an inspired Liverpool performance and a deserved 2-0 win that re-ignites their title chase.

We’ve seen this act before under Benitez. The signature Rafaball victory came in his first season in charge. Down 3-0 at halftime in the Champions League Final against AC Milan, Liverpool rallied to tie the match and won in a shootout. And Liverpool would never have reached that Final without a furious three-goal outburst in their final group stage match against Olympiakos that secured passage to the knockout round.

Since 2005 there have been many more Rafaball moments. From 2-0 down against West Ham, the Reds tied the 2006 FA Cup Final on the brink of stoppage time before winning in a shootout. There was a 2-1 win at Barcelona in the knockout stages of the 2007 Champions League, won on goals by Craig Bellamy and John Arne Riise after the former had attacked the latter with a golf club in the team hotel. Passage to the 2008 Champions League group stages seemed unlikely after an 0-1-2 start, but the Reds won their next three by a combined total of 16-1 and advanced to the semis.

Manchester United were familiar with Sunday’s performance. Last September LFC won at home 2-1 without the services of Gerrard or Torres. In March, just as the team’s obituary was being penned, the Reds shocked the Old Trafford faithful with a 4-1 victory. In both matches, ManU scored first before the Reds rallied.

The frustrating flip side to Rafaball is that legendary wins are often followed by flat performances. Every Liverpool fan should be on guard heading into Saturday’s fixture at Fulham. But if the Reds can continue to play Rafaball, this campaign will have plenty more pleasant surprises.

Originally posted at The Soccer Haus

Chicago LFC (outdoor playoffs)… and LFC 2-0 MUFC

I’ve never been so excited to write about a pathetic performance from Chicago LFC.

It was an early morning for most of the members of Chicago LFC, for some it was just an extension of the late Saturday night.  A majority of the team headed over to The Globe Pub at 9AM to watch a completely off form Liverpool FC (1 goal scored and 4 losses in the last 4 games) take on the defending champions and their biggest rivals, Manchester United.  It was a so called, ‘Super Sunday,’ fixture and everyone was up for it.  I won’t give a summary of that match, though I’d much rather talk about that, there are people much more capable of doing that on websites like the BBC or SkySports News.  Or any other website really, I’d read them all if I were you, bask in the glory of the moment.  I certainly did.

I tried for about 10 minutes to get a picture of Torres celebrating his goal in here.  But it didn’t work.  So just close your eyes for a few minutes and imagine it.

My you have a good imagination... Rio is thinking "Oh shit"

So it was a great atmosphere at The Globe, fantastic in fact,  then as the final whistle blew it was out the door to race over to Rauner YMCA to play a must win match of our own.

Surprisingly, mostly everyone turned up on time at Rauner and we were able to get warmed up before the match.  We had just about a full squad, which meant there were 68 people on the substitutes bench.  The match kicked off and it was a high flying start for Chicago LFC.  About 30 seconds into the game, Pat Garrity ran through the defense and put a shot on target, the ball skipped over the keeper, 1-0.  With confidence from the early goal, Chicago LFC applied even more pressure, without even the slightest bit of an attack forming from the first round playoff opposition, Bagkat FC.  The pressure paid off and Kobi scored a quality goal to make it 2-0.

Then it all began to unravel.  With a 2-0 advantage, CLFC seemed to go into cruise control.  Within ten minutes of being on auto-pilot, Bakgat FC scored on one of their first attacks.  The game had totally changed and Bakgat took the momentum into half time.

Captain Bryn Griffiths provided another (a)rousing speech, but it didn’t quite get the response it deserved as CLFC trotted out for the second half.  Within minutes, the seemingly inevitable happened, 2-2 on the counter attack.  Chicago LFC had managed to do what even Liverpool couldn’t do against the defending champions that morning, piss away a 2 goal advantage.  It was a deserved two goals from Bakgat, so there couldn’t be any complaints in that department.  They continued to apply pressure and CLFC seemed ready to concede a few more, but managed to stick to the opposition enough to put them off.  CLFC even managed a few good chances before the ref called for the end of regulation.  The end of regulation meant it was straight on to penalties.  The teams huddled up near midfield and watched as CLFC looked to match and possible surpass the record for worst ever start to a penalty shoot out.  Clearly, CLFC were interested in achieving some sort of accomplishment on the day, good or bad.  The 3 CLFC takers missed and the 3 Bagkat takers scored, and it took a save from Aran Quinn, the CLFC male MVP, to keep it alive.  CLFC penalty takers (Heather then Mark) then brought it back to even terms with Aran Quinn continuing on with the saves.  Quite the accomplishment, considering the start they had to the PKs, it came down to a Bagkat spot kick and Aran went the wrong way, Bagkat were through to the finals 3-2 on penalties, Chicago LFC were knocked out in the first round of playoffs.

It was pure dissapointment on the bench, but orange slices and the end of season awards ceremony helped cheer things up quite a bit.

Here are the awards voted for by the team:

Male Player of the Season - our very own Pepe Reina - Aran Quinn

Female Player of the Season - Steve Staunton (sometimes outfield, sometime goalie) - Hollice Wrobel

Most Improved Male Player - our Masch - Max DeZutter

Most Improved Female Player - our Italian-American left-back - Judi Cutrone

Goal of the Season - Brittany Parenti's 20 yard, top left corner, on her weaker left-foot, unstoppable goal! Amusingly, it was against our very own Arif!

Save of the Season – A dead heat between Hollice’s finger-tip save in our first game of the final session, Dan’s hand-ball on the line in extra time against Strangers and Judi’s last ditch tackle against that guy from FC Hangover. He was one on one with her with all the time and space in the world and she took the ball off his toes!

These following awards were democratically decided upon by Bryn and are in no particular order:

The Robbie Fowler “Substance Abuse” Award - Kevin Achettu

The Abel Xavier “Rival to Red” Award – Arif Ismail

The Voronin "Ponytail" Award - Jenny Sze

The Aquilani “Injury” Award – Al’an Blasio

The Luis Garcia “Lookalike” Award – Kurt Bauer

The Michael Thomas “Arse to Red” Award – Koby Larbi-Siaw

The Emiliano Insua “Left-back” Award – Liz Risoldi

The David James “Shot Stopper” Award – Christopher Liebelt

The  Lucas Lieva “Good Lucas” Award – Lucas Felt

The Rob Jones “Most games at right-back without even the slightest sniff of a goal” Award – Dan Skinner

The John Arne Riise “Ginge” Award – Mark Killeen

The Yossi Benayoun “Israeli” Award – Dani Avni

The Dirk Kuyt “Work-rate” Award – Greg Whalley

The Alan Kennedy “Scorer of the Winning Penalty in a Shootout” Award – Melissa Gomez

The Albert Reira “Winger” Award – Heather Ribeiro

The Ryan Babel “Pacey” Award – Meredith Lansdown

The Robbie Keano “Irish Striker” Award – Patrick Garrity

The John Barnes “Dribble your way to goal” Award – Remi Soyode

The Xabi Alonso “Beard” Award – Rich Watkin

The Glen Johnson “West Ham to Liverpool” Award – Toby Emms

The “Superfan” Awards went to Carlos (Melissa’s boyfriend) and Adam (Liz’s fiancee).

Last but not least, and arguably the most important - The Steven Gerrard "Captain Fantastic" Award - none other than Bryn Griffiths!

As usual, the post match was at SmallBar and the team was together for the last time in at least a few months (with the teams splitting into two for the indoor season).  CLFC had a great start to the season, but then managed to drop silly points (clearly following the lead of the real LFC), and while the playoffs provided a chance to make up for that, the team simply weren’t up for it (or sober) for the first round.  And it showed.  Both the Men’s and the Coed teams will look to turn that around with the new season starting on what is sure to be a busy Halloween day.  Can you say shitshow?  Actually, I don’t think you can.  Bryn, censor that if you feel the need to.

Best of luck to both teams in the indoor season.

Your Club Needs You…

That's right, you!

Liverpool Football Club stands on the brink of collapse the newspapers say… I say, BOLLOCKS!

Four consecutive losses, first time that’s happened since 1987 apparently, I don’t remember that because I can only think of the glory days when I think about Liverpool FC – the most successful British club.

So, all you Liverpool supporter’s out there, whether you are true-bloods or from wherever-you-are-in-the-world and happen to be fortunate enough to have the same great taste in football, come Sunday, Liverpool needs you to show your support.

I know Anfield will be a cauldron, so this is for the rest of us, not fortunate enough to be at the ground. I know that going to watch the games in the pub around Liverpool, London, or in Chicago, Hong Kong, Bangkok or Sydney may not seem like much in the grand old scheme of things but this Sunday is a day where I want every Liverpool supporter to wear his or her shirt with pride. The Mancs will be laughing, win or lose, if there are no Liverpool fans brave enough to show up.

We’re not Chelsea supporters, drunk on recent riches and supporting the hobby team of a billionaire! We’re not glory hunters who liked United “ever since the treble win”! (Sadly there of plenty of those “fans” Stateside).

We are Liverpool Supporters. We love this club for it’s rich history, not it’s rich owners. As supporters we’ve celebrated together when each of our 18 league titles were won in style, same goes for those 5 big-ears (yes, 5!), we’ve bounced together when Torres scores, laughed together when the Scouse humour has been seen on the pitch or heard in the songs we love to sing and suffered together during the tragedies of Hillsborough and Heysel.

We love this club because of the incredible comebacks we’ve seen – Istanbul is what Liverpool FC, and Liverpudlians, are all about. Sometimes down, but never out…

Remember me, Sir...?

So, Sunday is a day for every Liverpool supporter to wear his club badge, crest, colours or shirt with pride. Win, lose or draw on Sunday we’re all proud to call ourselves Reds because of everything we’ve been through together as a club.

We are Liverpool Football Club, and as the song says…

When you walk, through a storm, hold your head up high,

and don’t be afraid of the dark, at the end of the storm,

there’s a golden sky, and the sweet silver song of the lark…

Walk on, through the wind, walk on, through the rain,

though your dreams be tossed and blown…

Walk on, walk on, with hope, in your heart, and

You’ll Never Walk Alone, You’ll Never Walk Alone… walk on.

And remember this...?

Chicago LFC match report (matchday 6)

Apologies for not getting this out earlier, I have been busy learning to crypt walk for the last two days.

Many of the players on Chicago LFC woke up Sunday morning after an eery night of nightmares about beach balls.  On the face of it that doesn’t sound that bad, after all, what can a round, plastic object filled with air really do (apart from ruin seasons)?  And all it takes is one prick to get rid of it.  Yup, all it takes is one prick.  To get rid of it.  By throwing it onto the field.  Causing a ball to deflect off of it and into goal.  But seriously, beach ball nightmares can be bad. 

Nevertheless, the team arrived for a 10.45am kickoff with slightly weakened team, although they were reenforced by the return of a few key players.  Weird news early on, Chicago LIVERPOOL Football Club were asked to wear different colored shirts, after wearing Red tops since, I don’t know, 1892?  Being the polite, obedient people we are, we did agree to wear different colors.  All different colors.  Gay Pride CLFC took the field in about 15 different colors (despite only fielding a 11 person team, which made it all the weirder).  You could tell the team were up for it during the pre match warm up, with striker Kobi hitting shots as hard as he could against the back of the net, and off the side of his teammate’s faces (actually, just mine).

The match started and the only main change on the team sheet were the returns of Greg Whalley and Arif Ismail into the starting 11 at center midfield.  It was a fun game to play (no idea how I’d know this, as I am only a sideline reporter), but a terribly boring game to watch.  I nearly dozed off a few times, and I’d bet my life wee little Miles Skinner, who was in the stands watching, was asleep for a majority of the match.  There were very few chances for Strangers as the defence played brilliantly, left back Judi Cutrone chipping in with some well timed tackles.  Keeper Aran Quin was rarely tested, although there were quite a few obligatory dodgy moments.  Wouldn’t be CLFC without it.

So all was well in our own half, but the same couldn’t be said up front.  The team failed to string passes together, or go on any productive runs.  While everyone played well, it was clear that the final ball was lacking.  Still, a few half chances were created and winger Brittany Parenti went close with a shot from outside the box.  Soon enough it was half time, with CLFC on top but with nothing to show for it.

The second half kicked off, and CLFC were clearly looking for that extra spark.  So, logically enough, they sent on an extra player.  With 12 men on, the ref blew the whistle and issued a yellow card to our captain.  But since he was nowhere to be found, it was given to Mark Killeen instead… I’m sure that’s allowed within FIFA guidelines (as are beach balls, obviously).  The bench then witnessed some of the most pathetic arithmetic you will ever see on display, thanks to none other than Pat “I-can’t-count-that” Garrity.  Constantly insisting there were only 10 people on the field, Garrity would run on, only for the bench to call him back.  This happened a few times before a teammate quickly grabbed Miles’ “Learn to Count to Twelve with me” book and went to page two, where it indicated how one would hypothetically count to eleven, and potentially twelve if you really need too, though you may need a calculator past that.  Garrity finally gave it a rest.

While it was all laughs on the sidelines, the Reds (actually, Greens, Whites, Yellows, Blacks and a deep Magentas, although it was arguably a light Magenta depending on the lighting) were only continuing their poor attacking form.  A few more half chances were conceded to Stranger’s, and a few half chances were taken by CLFC, but nothing was happening, and it seemed likely that the game would end at 0-0 without even the slightest bit of excitement.  Seeing this as an unwanted possibility, a couple of CLFC player’s went ahead and earned yellow cards, and Stranger’s also got in on it.  Defender Kevin Achettu nearly earned a second yellow with a slide, though the ref clearly saw it for what it was (an awkward trip over the ball) a brilliant, stand-him-up, tackle.  Neither team were looking for goals though, it seemed.  Then right near the end, Pat Garrity, now knowing how to count past ten without using his toes, cut in through the box and sent a brilliant shot far post.  Unfortunately, the leprechaun in the opposition goal was able to parry it away with a great, great save.  Soon after that the referee blew the finals whistle and it was game over, 0-0, Chicago LFC ended a relatively disappointing season in 3rd place.

However, they still have the playoffs to look forward to next week and the team are confident they can still win the league championship, or whatever it is we are playing for.

I would just like to point out that while watching Liverpool play against Lyon right now, I just saw Anthony Reveillere of Lyon (who surely makes upwards of $60k a week for being a professional footballer) get called for a foul throw-in.  Don’t feel so bad everybody! 

But seriously, never do that again.

Chicago LFC (matchday 5)

Apologies in advance if todays game summary is littered with mustard stains and roast beef juice, it was the product of a lunch time blogging extraordinaire.

After two disappointing  results on the trot, Chicago LFC showed up at Rauner YMCA 9am Sunday morning looking for a result.  And possibly gloves, a scarf, a nice red sweatshirt and thermals if you have them.  Please.  Most of the players thawed in their cars for a few minutes before running onto the pitch.  Chicago LFC had tried different tactics coming into the last two matches (not drinking the night before at all, then drinking right up until kickoff to the point where you can’t play) with the team ending up 0 in 2.  So they reverted back to the age old methodology of having a good Saturday night piss up, going to bed at 5am and taking the field with a weird nuclear warning like ringing sound going off in our heads. (editor’s note – Kevin is speaking for himself, not the entire team, when he describes our pre-match preparations; the majority of us are sensible and responsible adults!)

The return to tried and true pre-match rituals was a bonus to the fact that FC I’ll-be-honest-I-just-don’t-remember were forced to start the match with only 8 players.  Right from the go, LFC looked to apply pressure.  Long balls were looped over the defense and CLFC also capitalized on the extra space created by the missing players.  Disaster almost struck when defender Kevin Achettu cocked up on a long bouncy ball, acrobatically missing it completely.  The ball fell for the oppositions attacker, who was then challenged by keeper Aran Quinn and left back Arif Ismail.  While the ball was cleared away, Quinn came off the worse, with an apparent injury to the neck and a bloody nose.  Though let’s be honest, the amount of moaning and complaining that followed would be more appropriate if he had been shot.  6 times.  Like Fitty Cent, yo.

CLFC got their ish together and played a much more careful game, though they still pushed forward.  Eventually, a free-kick was awarded and captain Bryn “I know how to win” Griffiths sent in a bending ball that struck the perfectly timed glancing head of Mark Killeen.  The ball then struck the even more perfectly timed swinging shoulder of Mark Killeen.  Before it hit the somewhat awkwardly timed, swaying-in-the-wind nylon back of the net.

1-0 and looking for more, Chicago LFC went into half time with spirits up.  A few more goals would’ve been nice, possibly deserved and certainly warranted considering the 3 man advantage.  But who am I to ask for more?

The second half started off and it was more of the same, nearly-there attacks, built from the back, flowing to the front for CLFC.  A bit of kick and run from I’m-really-sorry-I-still-can’t-think-of-their-name.  A few good chances were spurned by what Bryn and Kobi will call poor passes, but what most people know as laziness (editor – They were poor passes!).  CLFC were still clearly in the hunt for that crucial second goal, and while their back line held firm, it was still concerning that the scoreline hadn’t grown.  Remi then played a beautiful ball up to Kobi a.k.a. “Titi Henry,” who turned and unleashed the most immaculate looking shot, bending back a bit and completely undoing the keeper.  Off the crossbar, back of the net, CLFC were up 2-0.

A few more attacks followed, with CLFC looking to place low shots after realizing that the opposition keeper didn’t have knees and thus was slow to get down.  CLFC then followed through with the recurring idea of sticking with what works, by sending a ball up to Bryn Griffiths, who let’s be honest is a bit more Andy Voronin (sans any hair, of course!) then he is Thierry Henry.  Bryn, not one to be outdone, sent in a looping shot that was sent into orbit by the head of an opposition defender.  This obviously confused the opposition keeper quite a bit as he then stood in place (completely outside of his area, mind you), probably wondering why God would curse him with a lack of knees, I mean, what had he ever done to deserve that, seriously, and in the mean time the ball came back down to earth, conveniently bouncing right into the net.  Bryn would have you believe that the shot was on target before it went off the defender’s dome (editor – it was!), but satellite imagery and trajectory projectors clearly show that the shot was due to end up crashing through a window somewhere just outside of Des Moines, Iowa.  Nevertheless, 3-0, home and dry.

The final whistle came not too long after that and it was a well deserved, although slightly underwhelming victory for CLFC going into their last game of the season.

Edit: I feel like it would be irresponsible to not mention the freakshow that showed up with a wig, then removed it at half time before dislocating his shoulder by running into the Great Wall of Remi.  It’s just it didn’t feel right fitting that silliness into a blog post that oozes class and literary genius.  I mean a wig?  Come on.

Nemeth scores again!

AEK lost their home game against Olympiakos Piraeus 2-1 last week but Nemeth looked  one of the star performers again for an AEK team that seems to be struggling for form and currently sit 10th in the Greek “Super” League.

Nemeth was denied an opening goal in the game by the “Hand of Zeus” but managed to claw his team back in the game at 2-0 down with a sweetly struck top corner finish. AEK might have forced a draw but Nemeth’s penalty claims were waved away.

It’s great to see the boy getting first team football but I’m still not convinced what playing with a team at that level will do for him. Many of his teammates seem to lack that killer pass or selfishly go for goal themselves despite him being in a better position – just think how much he could be learning at Melwood from Torres, Gerrard and co.

To watch the highlights on an outside site (Footy Tube) click here.